Monday, January 9, 2012

PBJ rant

I was thinking about home cooked ramen (homemade sounds like the noodles are actually pounded out) and remembered my brother and what he said about his roommates acting like crack fiends after he'd made them some Top Ramen topped with boiled egg, cold cuts, and onions. My brother mastered these ancient noodoru techniques because my mom would hover near the kitchen like a spirit and then fly in to fix us bowls of fancy ramen whenever we wandered famished around her kitchen. This made me think about Asian moms and how a self-respecting one would never do the following:

Send her kid to school with a peanut butter jelly sandwich. I know you folks of caucasian persuasion will argue with me about the deliciousness of this misguided concoction but hear me out.

The PBJ is a nice snack but let's be honest, your mama was sending you to school with a lunch that was bread (sugar), peanut butter (sugar), and jelly (sugar). Not only does this cultivate taste buds that can't enjoy subtle and savory flavors but it also results in diabetes, diabetes, diabetes. Extra maddening were the PBJ-eating fucktards who would make fun of my (homemade by my mother- here homemade is 100% appropriate) bento boxed lunch. "Seaweed? Yuck." Nutritiously delicious green leafy vegetable of the sea, you short life expectancy having mofo. "Eew, fish with head and tail?" Real protein, you processed meat eating douchebag.

Ok, let me calm down and go fix myself a snack... perhaps a PBJ sandwich. Sike! (Man, been years since I pulled that one out of the ol' lexicon).  Long live balls of rice wrapped in dried laver. 

Learning Japanese (2) Get into the (Pop) Culture

A lot of Japanese pop culture is plain bad. Hell, a lot of pop culture is bad. But it is my biased and amateur, yet frequent, observation that ex-pats who live on an island of online and pirated English-language pop culture cut themselves off from deeper understanding of Japan and, as a result, a chance to learn the language well.

Yes, AKB48 was tired the moment it became a phenomenon and those girls are far from hot and at the most kind of cute, but people learn best when there is context. Sitting down an hour a day studying Japanese grammar and kanji will help but it won't do much for your speaking. Even if it's baffling watch some Japanese variety TV (I recommend the self-styled "Coming Out Variety" program Himitsu no Kenmin Show or the Secret Kenmin Show), 'read' tentacle sex comic books, shit, become an AKB48 fan for all I care.

If a music video full of silly girls pillow fighting in underwear in the technicolor world of director/photographer Ninagawa Mika doesn't do it for you (wait a minute, that sounds awesome! - go here) there are plenty of alternatives. For music an old school indie rock favorite of mine is Eastern Youth. Check out the jam Ukigumo or this one. More mainstream but just as good and even more fun to sing at karaoke as you kick the TV (like my grad school sempai Miichi-san did) is Linda Linda by the Blue Hearts. Edgy Kyoto pop-rock group Quruli is also recommendo.

Mostly music here but there's a lot out there and getting into more matomo (proper) Japanese culture such as classic lit, ikebana, tea ceremony, kabuki, sumo (I mean as a spectator but hey if you've got the bod, give it a go or check out this really baaaad aidoru version), etc. also never hurts.